


First Glimpse

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Baby, F/M, First Meeting, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 06:09:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10938585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	First Glimpse

As you looked down at the baby in your arms sleeping peacefully, your little Jennifer Grace, she couldn’t look more in contrast to how you felt. Each deep breath and cuddle closer to your breast leaving you breathless. You had no one to watch her, so today would be the first day her father would see her.

\---  
“Push, Y/N,” JJ screamed. You couldn’t do it anymore. She was in a bad position. You were so tired. Spencer wasn’t here. It wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t Spencer be here? What had you done in life to deserve your husband being in jail as you were giving birth to his child? “You can do this!”

“I can’t, JJ,” you cried. Your body was weak and your mind was weaker. With a huff, your head fell back into the hospital bed and you started to cry again. The fire that was raging through your body was like no other you’d ever felt, but it did not begin to compare to the fires in your brain and your heart. This was supposed to be one of the best days of your life - and instead of being here with your husband at your side, welcoming the baby you’d always wanted into the world, your best friend had to take his place.

JJ couldn’t even begin to imagine how you felt, but the only thing that mattered to her right now was getting the little girl inside you into the world. She grabbed the sides of your face and tilted it toward her. “You can do this,” she said calmly, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I know you’re wishing that Spencer could be here and I’m sorry he can’t, but he would want you to take a deep breath, focus, and push. Your baby is almost here.”

Again, you lifted your head up off the pillow and bared down with all of your might, screaming as the searing pain coursed through you. As thoughts of Spencer played through your mind, your bore down, blocking out every nightmare in your life to focus on the baby. And with two more pushes there she was. 

Since Spencer had been transferred to prison, you’d cried enough tears for five lifetimes, but as the little, crying, bloody mess of a baby, your little girl, was placed on your chest, those tears turned to something else. A little piece of Spencer was with you.  
\---

“JJ,” you said. “I can’t do this. I can’t bring her in there. Spencer’s never seen her before. This can’t be how this moment happens.”

Both of you had debated whether or not to bring your month old daughter into the courtroom, but she claimed that he’d rather see you with the baby in tow, rather than not see either of you - and you’d agreed, but now you were having second thoughts. “It’s not fair that this is the first time he gets to see his baby. What if seeing us backfires? And it puts him in an even worse place than he is now? Jage, I don’t think he can handle that. He’s barely holding it together as it is.”

Your voice had started to waver in pitch, and little Jennifer had stirred in your arms. With everything else that was going on, all you wanted to do was keep her asleep. If she woke up and started crying, especially right now, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. “You’re his anchor in the world,” she responded. “He needs to see you.”

With another deep breath, you placed your hand lightly on your daughter’s body and made your way into the courtroom, sitting at JJ’s side while you waited for Spencer to be brought into the room and arraigned. 

The second he entered, guards at his back and cuffs at his front, it felt as if all air was sucked from your body. He’d picked you out in milliseconds, eyes falling to the bundle in your arms. “She’s beautiful,” he mouthed. “Name?” You hadn’t told him, wanting to tell him in person. You just hadn’t pictured her being with you.

“Jennifer,” you mouthed back, pointing to JJ. As he was escorted to the table, where he would sit next to his lawyer, Fiona, he stared at your daughter, trying to memorize every shade of color that spoke to him from her tiny body. He’d stopped in his tracks and had been forced into his seat by the guards, immediately turning around to look at her again. 

For a few moments, the judge remained out of your sight, so Spencer turned and leaned his head on the separation between you, saying nothing and just looking at the two of you. “She’s starting to look in the mirror,” you said softly, looking down at her tiny little lips. She was starting to enjoy her own facial expressions. That was the first time in months you’d seen Spencer smile, but it was quickly washed away when the judge was whisked into the chamber. It took everything in him to turn around to face her, but Fiona forced him to. 

Everything was tuned out as the arraignment wore on. He was an FBI agent. He’d been framed. So there really was no reason for the judge to deny him bail. The seconds dragged into infinities. Why was she denying him bail? “No,” you breathed, the tears stinging your eyes and quickly falling from your face onto your daughter’s blanket. “No, please.” Your voice picked up and you stared at the judge, begging for her to give Spencer bail. “Please, he hasn’t seen his daughter since she was born. I’m begging you…please let my husband see his baby.”

Again, she banged the gavel. “Bail is denied. Defendant is remanded until trial in three months.” Quickly, you handed Jennifer to her godmother and namesake and ran to Spencer, enveloping him in your embrace before the guards took him away again. You were screamed at to let go, but you couldn’t and had to be tugged away.

“Focus on her,” he said, as they started to take him away. He was trying to say everything he possibly could before the door closed you off from him again. “I’m going to come back to you both. I promise!”

You could’ve sworn you saw his tears hit the floor before the door slammed shut, leaving you grabbing onto the partition with one hand as JJ held your baby at your back. Everything felt so foreign. How were you supposed to reconcile the love for your child with the desperation for your husband’s release? What were you supposed to do?


End file.
